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The Before and After Moments of Losing my Eye

Every year, I find my mood shifting around the 16th of April. This date marks a significant turning point in my life. Back in 2003, an incident occurred that was not just physically altering, but also shaped the person I am today.


On that day, someone hurled a handful of slate rocks at me. One of these struck my right eye, causing excruciating pain. This painful experience, however, led to an unexpected outcome - forgiveness. Whether it was naivety or simply my nature, I found myself forgiving the person who had caused me such harm, even though they showed no immediate remorse. I remember hearing them argue with their sister about apologizing as I lay in bed, consumed by pain and fear.

Now, years later, I find myself questioning the power this person still holds over me. Was my forgiveness genuine, or merely a facade to help me cope with the pain? Can I forgive this person today, tomorrow, or ever? Would I want to have a conversation with them?


I share this personal story with you because we all have our ‘before’ and ‘after’ moments. These pivotal points can shape our lives - the ‘before’ and ‘after’ of our first marathon, our marriage, our college graduation.


Reflecting on and acting upon these moments can help us stay in control and manage our emotions. If you ever feel like you’re losing control, I invite you to sit down and ask yourself these questions:

  • Does this situation still hold power over me?

  • Have I taken responsibility for this situation?

  • How will I let this situation define me?

  • Have I moved on? Do I want to move on?

  • What’s next?




Remember, it’s these moments and how we respond to them that define us

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